Monday, September 4, 2017

The Relapse

The first couple of months of celibacy were difficult.  I was bombarded with temptation through the form of television, magazines, and close friend's. The more I tried to close my eyes to temptation the more temptation seemed to follow me.  In the mist of my celibacy journey I gave into my urges and I relapsed. 
When I began my journey of celibacy I intended to wait until marriage as I wanted to save myself for my future Husband, but temptation had other plans. You see, resisting temptation is normal in the beginning stages of your walk with Christ. Although I planned on waiting for my future spouse I gave into my former way of life. In this instance I decided not to resist sexual sin. I  talked myself into the sin I took part in and gave myself over to the indulgences of my fallen flesh. As I blamed myself for not being able to accomplish celibacy, I pondered if celibacy was just another goal on my checklist. I thought to myself has celibacy become another deadline? Load and behold, it has. Within this time I had forgotten why I was waiting for marriage and also have forgotten why I decided to follow Christ.

I allowed myself to be consumed by sin all because I counted down the days of celibacy as if it was a death sentence. I realized that in order to remain celibate I needed to shift my mindset and no longer see celibacy as a punishment but something in which I am choosing to do to build a relationship with Christ. This became a turning point for me because I began to no longer see celibacy as a negative but saw it as a positive. I realized that I made one major mistake in the beginning stages of my journey. That major mistake being I did not read the Bible. Prior to my relapse I was spending quality time with God, but I was not reading the bible devotionally. I would read the bible here and there, but was I grasping what I was reading, NO. Post- relapse I made a conscious effort to spend quality time in the word and read the bible devotionally. Every morning I pray, drink apple juice, read my Bible and meditate on a scripture. The Bible has become a place of hope, refuge, and strength for my life. As the Lord reveals truth through the Bible. 

"For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." – Romans 15:4

I vowed to learn from this experience and share this relapse with you because relapse is common in many Christians lives and is avoidable. I believe with all my heart and soul that with patience and reading the bible I have been able to follow him with more stability, joy and peace. He who is in us is greater than the brokenness of our natural flesh. I believe through the bible the Lord gives us all the tools needed to fight these daily tough battles of sin. We just need to continue to seek him and take hold of the power he offers us. I truly wish it all would've gone differently, but I am made new in Christ and now know that I am not fighting this battle alone. 

With Love,

She Commands 

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Monday, August 14, 2017

And God Said

Last week, I started reading and thinking through Genesis 1. The words “And God Said” stuck out to me and have been ministering to my heart ever since.

The number one question often asked by believers is how do you discern the voice of God or does God still speak? This was a question that I asked and would buy books on the subject to gain insight.
Personally, I have never heard the audible voice of God. For me, I’m normally studying his word and
God gives revelation concerning my situation.

However, God still speaks. This truth is important to know because all creation is subject to the spoken word of God. Don’t believe me…

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

Genesis 1:3

Man… let me tell you when I read this verse tears started flowing from my eyes. This is the God we
serve. He speaks, and things change. He speaks and breakthrough spring forth. He speaks and creation
obeys. Why? Because he is in control. Lately, I’ve been dealing with a little confusion. The confusion has led me to doubt my purpose and the call of God on my life. I would find myself doubting and speaking words that did not line up to what God has said. He said I’m joint heirs with Christ Jesus. He said that I have been made new. He said that I am forgiven. He said that I am his child and nothing can pluck me from his hand. He said that he’s with me. He said he would provide me. So when I started going through Genesis, God was literally spanking my tail with his word and showing me the power of holding onto and speaking what HE said.

What situation are you experiencing right now? What pit are you in that you can’t seem to get out of?
What lie has the enemy been taunting you with? You betta remember what GOD said and put some
word on that situation. Struggling with knowing the sovereignty of God? Check these passages out:

Genesis 18
Genesis 21:2
2 Kings 4
Matthew 19:26
Romans 8

There is no situation too hard for God. There is no mountain he can’t move, but we must trust his word.
The enemy always tries to pervert God’s truth with a lie, that’s why it’s important to know for yourself
what God said. I challenge you today to put some WORD on your situation and see how your
circumstances change.

Monday, May 8, 2017

Is Dating a Distraction?

Have you ever gotten to know someone and then after multiple interactions they hit you with the "I am not in the place to date because I am too busy working on my life goals". Well ladies that was me.
I was getting to know someone and although I felt that everything was going in the right direction things began to shift. You see I started to make excuses for this man and saying to myself "he was right, we both were too busy for a relationship". After much prayer the lord revealed to me that there is a season for everything. (Ecclesiastes 3:1) (Ecclesiastes 3:8) He revealed to me that the issue was not time, but how we effectively communicate and balance our lives. 
For the first time in years I came to a realization that I always made excuses for a man’s disappointment.  I realized that what he was saying was being sugar coated. In short I realized that his statement "I am not in the place to date because I am too busy" was a polite way to say "I like you, but not ENOUGH to date you".  

You see I look at powerful couples such as the Obamas, Will and Jada Smith, the Beckhams, and the Timberlake's and realize that they ALL have two things in common. One being, that they work together as a team to achieve goals beyond this world and two they've chosen each other to do life with. I believe these dynamic duos support and encourage each other daily! 
Don’t get me wrong, I have seen relationships which definitely where distractions.  For instance I was in a relationship where I gave up on my dreams because my partner did not care to understand my vision. This relationship ended in infidelity and left me in a state of vulnerability where I had to do a lot of soul searching.

During my soul searching, I realized that the relationship I want to build is one where my partner and I are working together and growing together to build a sustaining partnership. A relationship built on God, friendship, trust, honesty, genuine affection, loyalty, and respect. This type of relationship would take focus, drive, and balance from both parties to achieve God affirmed goals. This relationship right here will be an equally yoked relationship and will NOT be a distraction. 
I am a person who calculates all risk because I am not a risk taker. It's unfortunate that the feelings I had were not reciprocated, but I know that this rejection was God's protection. I know my worth and an "I'm sorry I'm not in a place to date" is no longer a good enough statement for me! It's time to STOP making excuses for these men and realize that I am the PRIZE! 

With Love,


Emi Valerio is an Empowerment Coach and Founder of She Commands, LLC. Emi
 supports women to confidently embrace their singleness by releasing negative blocks, 
upgrading their mindset and walking into their God given LIFE purpose. Through She 
Commands, LLC.  Emi offers a wide range of programs and services, from 
Empowerment coaching to informational products and live events. Emi is passionate 
about helping extraordinary woman to reclaim their confidence, push past their fears 
and gain clarity. Emi is bilingual and speaks fluent Spanish and English. All of her 
coaching programs are available in both languages.

Prior to starting She Commands LLC, Emi spent 5 years as a Counselor in the nonprofit 
sector and now works for the New York City Department of Education. After a 
successful career in counseling, Emi now coaches women to walk into their purpose 
during their 'single season'.

Holding a BA in Sociology, MS in Counseling, and an Advanced Certificate in Bilingual 
School Counseling Emi brings extensive expertise to her clients. To keep her fresh and 
motivated each month Emi Logs a minimum of 5 hours of personal and Professional 

​Emi lives in New York City with her family. She loves traveling, taking part in 
community service, serving in her church and shedding a light of positivity to the world.

Be sure to connect with Emi on all social platforms:

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Until next time, we love you & pray the best for you!!