Monday, May 8, 2017

Is Dating a Distraction?

Have you ever gotten to know someone and then after multiple interactions they hit you with the "I am not in the place to date because I am too busy working on my life goals". Well ladies that was me.
I was getting to know someone and although I felt that everything was going in the right direction things began to shift. You see I started to make excuses for this man and saying to myself "he was right, we both were too busy for a relationship". After much prayer the lord revealed to me that there is a season for everything. (Ecclesiastes 3:1) (Ecclesiastes 3:8) He revealed to me that the issue was not time, but how we effectively communicate and balance our lives. 
For the first time in years I came to a realization that I always made excuses for a man’s disappointment.  I realized that what he was saying was being sugar coated. In short I realized that his statement "I am not in the place to date because I am too busy" was a polite way to say "I like you, but not ENOUGH to date you".  

You see I look at powerful couples such as the Obamas, Will and Jada Smith, the Beckhams, and the Timberlake's and realize that they ALL have two things in common. One being, that they work together as a team to achieve goals beyond this world and two they've chosen each other to do life with. I believe these dynamic duos support and encourage each other daily! 
Don’t get me wrong, I have seen relationships which definitely where distractions.  For instance I was in a relationship where I gave up on my dreams because my partner did not care to understand my vision. This relationship ended in infidelity and left me in a state of vulnerability where I had to do a lot of soul searching.

During my soul searching, I realized that the relationship I want to build is one where my partner and I are working together and growing together to build a sustaining partnership. A relationship built on God, friendship, trust, honesty, genuine affection, loyalty, and respect. This type of relationship would take focus, drive, and balance from both parties to achieve God affirmed goals. This relationship right here will be an equally yoked relationship and will NOT be a distraction. 
I am a person who calculates all risk because I am not a risk taker. It's unfortunate that the feelings I had were not reciprocated, but I know that this rejection was God's protection. I know my worth and an "I'm sorry I'm not in a place to date" is no longer a good enough statement for me! It's time to STOP making excuses for these men and realize that I am the PRIZE! 

With Love,


Emi Valerio is an Empowerment Coach and Founder of She Commands, LLC. Emi
 supports women to confidently embrace their singleness by releasing negative blocks, 
upgrading their mindset and walking into their God given LIFE purpose. Through She 
Commands, LLC.  Emi offers a wide range of programs and services, from 
Empowerment coaching to informational products and live events. Emi is passionate 
about helping extraordinary woman to reclaim their confidence, push past their fears 
and gain clarity. Emi is bilingual and speaks fluent Spanish and English. All of her 
coaching programs are available in both languages.

Prior to starting She Commands LLC, Emi spent 5 years as a Counselor in the nonprofit 
sector and now works for the New York City Department of Education. After a 
successful career in counseling, Emi now coaches women to walk into their purpose 
during their 'single season'.

Holding a BA in Sociology, MS in Counseling, and an Advanced Certificate in Bilingual 
School Counseling Emi brings extensive expertise to her clients. To keep her fresh and 
motivated each month Emi Logs a minimum of 5 hours of personal and Professional 

​Emi lives in New York City with her family. She loves traveling, taking part in 
community service, serving in her church and shedding a light of positivity to the world.

Be sure to connect with Emi on all social platforms:

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Until next time, we love you & pray the best for you!!